My First Kairos Moment

kairos (ky·rôs) n. (from the Greek καιρος)
       A pivotal moment in time;
       a remarkable or noteworthy event waited for.
       The appointed time in the purpose of God.
       A passing instant, when an opening appears, which must be driven through with force if success is to be achieved.


When I was ten years old in 2002, I found my parents arguing in the living room. I was spying on them and my mom was crying. A lot. They saw me and assured me that "everything is fine" and "mom is just sad."

A few weeks later, my brother Alex and I were told that my dad was being sent to Afghanistan.

Then a few weeks after that, he was gone.

I didn't know at the time how dramatically my dad's absence would affect my life.

I saw my mom slowly wither away. She stopped eating, I'm sure she barely slept. I don't blame her for this. I never have. I'm sure that if my husband was sent to a place as dangerous as Afghanistan, I would just die as the plane took off. She took care of Alex and I the best she could, but she was broken. She hurt all the time and was overcome with horrible fear every single day. I can't even imagine how she must have felt.

I was messed up too. I did as much questioning as a ten year-old could do at the time. I was furious at God. Obviously it was God who had done this to my family, I thought. But why? Why would this amazing God that I am supposed to love and respect and cherish do something so wretched? He was physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally breaking the people who are closest to me. He took the strongest woman I have ever known and turned her into a frail woman who could barely keep from crying every day. Why would He do that? 

I didn't want Him to be any God of mine.

Then came that day. The day that every little girl would dream of if she thought to.

If she had to.

Watching my dad walk off the plane after nine months of being in a desert was the most amazing sight I have ever experienced. I couldn't describe the feeling to you even if I had every word in the dictionary at my disposal. It was as if he had come back from the dead.

It completely changed my life.

That was the first time I ever thought to myself, There MUST be a God. He brought Daddy back from what we were sure was his death. We were prepared to never see him again. And HE brought him back. 

It is the best moment I will probably ever have in my life. I hope my wedding day and the births of my children are half as beautiful. Because it made me believe in God.