Energizing yet Crazy

It feels as if I haven't stopped moving in weeks!

So much has happened in the past couple of weeks and so much is going to happen in the next few months.  It amazes me that I have been able to keep my head on straight.  Everything is spinning at a rapid pace and it has been energizing yet crazy.  I'm exhausted, but I get a couple of weeks to relax and reboot before it gets insane again this summer.  So here is what has been happening and what is happening soon:

Last month: I have been in the process of filling out mountains of paperwork for my internship year.  Turns out that moving to a foreign country for a year is kind of complicated!  It has been hard to even think about moving to Malaysia since I have been so consumed in school work, but now that school is over, it is really starting to sink in and I am very excited about it!  

Last week: I finished my second year of seminary!  It was definitely my hardest semester yet.  I don't know how I did it, but I actually managed to pull out better grades this semester than last semester.  Actually, I do know how I did it.  I did it with the help, love, and support of my friends, professors, and family.  But I am delighted that it is over and I am excited to move along with the next part of seminary.

Last week: I also moved last week.  I put 90% of what I own in a storage unit and took the rest up to Durham.  I spend a lot of last week packing but I also spent a lot of last week saying "see you later" to everyone at seminary.  It was crazy and wonderful and bitter sweet to move away from my seminary family, but I am excited about being in Durham for a while and being adopted into a new family at St. Paul's Lutheran Church.

This week: I am relaxing!  I have been going to the gym almost every day and laying by the pool.  It is wonderful.  I am so happy.  I'm also going up to Virginia to spend some time with my second family and see some of my girls! It is going to be wonderful.

Next week: My mom comes to town! Oh AND Daniel and I are having out first bridal shower! It is going to be the best week.  Hooray!  St. Paul's is throwing us a wedding shower and it is bound to be incredible.  We are so thankful to have such a beautiful church family here.  And I couldn't be more excited to have my mom here for a week.  We are going to get so much done for the wedding and it is going to be wonderful to spend time with her.  I miss her like crazy!

Next month: I get to go to Cuba at the end of June! My theology professor asked my roommates and me to go to Cuba with a Methodist group and it is going to be incredible.  We will be working on a seminary building while we are down there.  It will be my third country in two years (with Malaysia being my fourth).  It will be super exciting to spend another week with Megan before spending a year apart.  It should be a wonderful week!

So if you haven't noticed, I'm describing most things happening in my life as "wonderful," because I could honestly not be happier.  There is a lot more happening after June, but I will leave that for another post.  I can't wait to keep in touch with everyone over the next couple of months through this blog (I'm hoping to keep up with it more regularly).  So keep an eye out if you're interested!

A Different Way

This is the sermon I wrote the day after the Freddie Gray's funeral in Baltimore. I wrote it with tears in my eyes, with an aching heart. I wrote it because it is what I needed to hear. I preached it yesterday morning. I was terrified to be preaching about something so controversial and I was so blessed by the reception I received...

A few weeks ago when I began writing this sermon, I turned to my friend in the midst of sermon prep and said, “I just don’t have anything new to say about ‘love one another.’”  Now, it seems, I have too much to say, but no way of saying it.  It is with sighs too deep for words that I come before you this morning.  

What are we supposed to do in this world?  I feel helpless.  I feel angry and sad.  As I struggle to get my words on paper, I feel my whole soul sighing in desperation for this world.  “Come, Lord Jesus,” I pray, not really expecting an answer.  

What are we supposed to do in this world?  I am overwhelmed.  I am overwhelmed by the unjustified police violence throughout our country.  I am overwhelmed by the riots in Baltimore.  I am overwhelmed by the hatred I see in Facebook posts and comments from people who I have known to be loving and caring.  I am overwhelmed by the cries of the thousands who are denied their basic rights because of their sexual orientation.  I am overwhelmed by the despair and death in Nepal.  

What are we supposed to do in this world?  We are constantly told that violence is the answer - even when we have ignored the question.  This world tells us that the only way to be heard is to yell louder than our opponent.  We are told that the only way to make it to the top is to lie, cheat, and steal our way there.  This world continues to say that “justice” only applies if you are a part of the majority.  This world is telling us that only some lives matter. 

We cannot believe this world.  In fact, as Christians we DO not believe this world.  We have been baptized into the Body of Christ and we KNOW the truth.  It is not violence that triumphs.  It is not anger and vengeance that prevails.  Hate is not the answer.  

The lies of this world are just that - lies.  We cannot believe them.  No matter how true they feel in this week, in this time, in this place, we must cling to the real truth.  

And the real truth is this: Strength is in weakness.  Triumph is in death on a cross.  The gospel declares that Jesus’ death is the first pivotal moment - the moment where God’s reign breaks into this world.  And God’s reign does not look like this world at all.  The kingdom of God declares that love is the answer, that the way to be heard is to lay yourself down for another.  The kingdom of God calls us to be compassionate, careful, and righteous with our words and our actions.  

Jesus’ life shows us that even when it looks like hatred and violence wins, God is stronger, God prevails, God conquers death and the devil in order to restore the world.  We must not let this world overwhelm us, we must be overcome with Christ’s love.  

When we are overcome with Christ’s love, we see the world in a different way.  When we have the faith to abide in Jesus and he in us, our perspective becomes more holy, more heartbroken.  

I used to pray a very simple prayer when I was in college, “Lord, break my heart for the things that break your heart.”  What I realized was, that is way too hard.  There are too many things that break my heart now.  I am bogged down with the tragedies of this world.  But it gave me new eyes.  And when we become overwhelmed with Christ’s love for the world, we will have new eyes in Christ.  Now I pray that whole world’s heart would break for the things that break God’s heart. 

Because when that happens, when we begin using “God lenses,” we will see a new world.  We will see new answers.  When we see tragedies in this world, such as the earthquake in Nepal, the avalanche on Mt Everest, and the police violence throughout our cities, we will feel them deep within us as personal tragedies.  For they are not just the people of Nepal.  They are not just homosexual and transgender people in cities, they are not just African American people in Baltimore or North Charleston.  Jesus tells us that these people are our brothers and sisters.  And we are called to love them.  In fact, more than that - something that seems quite scandalous - we are called to love them so much that we would lay our lives down for them.  We skip over that line and dismiss it as a metaphor because it seems too hard, the stakes are too high if we say we must die.  

But the stakes are too high.  Our brothers and sisters are dying. They are being beaten to death, abused, denied basic human rights.  Whether the violence of the killing of an unarmed black man, or the violence of rioting in response to it - we are told that this is normal.  Our world tells us that this is okay.  Sin declares that this is how we bring about change.  But I promise you, my sisters and brothers, what the world says is normal is not normal at all.  Violence and hatred are not from God.  They are satanic, they are parasitic to the world that God created for wholeness, peace, shalom.  

We are called to throw away our tribal allegiances - whatever they might be. Jesus tells us in this very passage that there is a different way.  There is a the way of unity, righteousness, and peace.  God’s way is the way of love.  

The redemption of this world will not come from violence.  It will not come from hatred and abuse.  The reign of God does not come in anger and vengeance.  The kingdom of God breaks into this world when despite everything - despite the world telling us that violence is the only answer, that death will continue forever, that hatred is stronger - the kingdom of God breaks into this world when we decide to love. In this world that will continue to tell us we must kill one another, God says that we must die for another.  We are all brothers and sisters in Christ.  There is no “us” and “them.”  

And in this time of overwhelming violence, hatred, pointing fingers, and laying blame - we must remember that God says there is a different way and that it starts with us.  

It starts with this community.  It starts on a small scale - a relationship scale.  This new way of living, the kingdom of God in this world starts when people like you and me decide to love.  Instead of hating, instead of holding a grudge, instead of disregarding people because they look different, love different, or act different from us, we can decide to love.  

God works in small ways.  God is working the hearts of the thousands of volunteers who have gone to Nepal to help in recovery.  God was working through the hands of the people who came out the next morning in Baltimore to clean up the streets.  God is working in the Lutheran church as we continue to work to make our sanctuaries safe places for people of different sexual orientations, races, and backgrounds.  God is working. There is no denying that.  So let us offer up our own hands and feet, our own hearts and souls, in order to live into the love that God has so graciously and freely given us.  The Kingdom of God starts here. In this community.  Loving one another starts with us.