Worship as Self-Care and Community-Care - Redeemer Episcopal Church

Mark 6:30-34, 53-56

Feeding the Five Thousand

The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things.

When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret and moored the boat. When they got out of the boat, people at once recognized him, and rushed about that whole region and began to bring the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went, into villages or cities or farms, they laid the sick in the marketplaces, and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.

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This sermon was originally preached by me, to a certain people in a certain time and place, but we believe in the power of the Spirit, so it might touch you as well. 

It is GOOD to be back with you all. The last eight weeks or so have been wonderful for our family as it expanded and I am so grateful for the time that we were able to spend together in our little bubble as we got to know our daughter. 

AND it was HARD. Of course, we have a newborn again and that comes with all sorts of challenges and exhaustion, but one of the hardest parts for me was that I do not rest well. I am not someone who sits for very long. Even when recovering from childbirth. I’m a busybody— the kind of person who used to make to do lists during church. 

We all know that God has a good sense of humor, which I think is why we heard this text this morning. Of course my first sermon back from parental leave would be about rest— or perhaps about looking for rest. 

Last week we heard about God, who perched on the Ark of Covenant. The people believed that God would come and go as God pleased and that they could provide a resting place for God in their community with a tabernacle and ark. But, as Father Wiley said, we know that God has come to us in the person of Jesus— the God that we worship is incarnate, in flesh and blood— a real living person with whom we can have a relationship. With whom we DO have a relationship. 

In the reading this morning, the apostles were returning from their mission that Jesus had sent them on to go into the towns and cities to heal and to proclaim the coming of the Kingdom of God. When they came back from the towns, the crowds were constantly trying to find them— apparently news had spread quite effectively about Jesus and his band of followers… It was getting so crowded and the people were so desperate to see Jesus that the apostles barely had any time to even eat by themselves. 

“Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” Jesus tells them. But even this didn’t work because people recognized them and got to their resting place first and continued to press in on Jesus and the apostles. Now, if I were one of the apostles, I would be pretty upset by this— they had just traveled all over the country and now they were ready to rest a little bit. They just wanted to eat dinner in peace! That couldn’t be too much to ask. I’d be wanting Jesus to put his foot down and send the crowds away so I could rest a while. 

What we are seeing in this story is not only that the apostles are feeling overworked and overwhelmed by the persistent crowds, but the other side of it is that we see hundreds and even thousands of people who are so desperate for the teachings of Jesus that they follow Jesus and the apostles around all over the country, not even stopping for food for themselves. 

As our world moves back into its rhythm of overwork and go go go, I think we are going to start to feel a similar kind of weariness and maybe even desperation— we might feel a bit like the apostles AND a bit like the crowds all at once. And when that happens, people are going to tell us about what we tend to call “self care” or “rest” as a resistance to this overwork. We’ll hear about how we need to take time for ourselves and care for ourselves. I heard a lot of this during the last eight weeks— I needed to take some time to take care of myself. What they mean most of the time is that I should take a bubble bath or get a massage.

And there is certainly nothing wrong with self-care in the form of things like massages and bubble baths or beach vacations. But the weariness I felt over the last few weeks wasn’t going to be cured by taking a walk or reading a novel. I think the weariness of the past year and a half is going to show us that we need something more than superficial self-care. We are going to find ourselves both just like the apostles— needing “Come away to a deserted place all by ourselves and rest a while”— and also like the crowds— so desperate for Jesus and his teaching and healing that we press in from all sides. 

I loved what Father Wiley said about worship last week— what if our perspective changes and we GOT to go to worship instead of feeling like we HAVE to go to worship? How would that change our experience of God? Worship as a privilege instead of obligation. As someone who grew up very much feeling like worship was just an obligation, I can understand if you’re not quite there yet, if you’re not quite to the point where worship feels like a celebration or a place where we can dance. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I began to feel that myself. But then, I realized, worship is part of my deep-needed spiritual self-care. 

Worship is a privilege and a celebration, but it’s also more than that— it’s the root from which we gain our nourishment, it is absolutely necessary for our life with God. And I’m a campus pastor— I would never ever say that we can only worship God in THIS building. Or even that this building is better fit for worship than anywhere else in the world. BUT… if your life is anything like mine, it does not give many opportunities to sit and rest with God, to be quiet and listen to God’s Word speaking into my life. When people ask me about my spiritual life during the week, I might mention something about reading the Bible when I’m preparing my sermons, but it really is sometimes ONLY Sunday mornings when I take enough time and sit quietly enough to listen to God. 

That is the power of worship in this space. It is within these walls that everything else falls away. It is in this place, and during THIS particular time that we set aside other obligations and, if we allow ourselves, it is here that we come away to rest a while. It’s not that God won’t meet us in other places of our lives, and indeed, God is always present. But here in this place? This is where WE can show up to be attentive to God, this is where we can truly rest and be healed because there is power in these rituals, in the routine of standing and sitting, praying and singing, our worship is embodied just like our God.

My hope for you is that you might feel the desperation of the crowds. That you might ache for his teaching, so much so that you’re willing to sit at his feet hungry, believing that he will provide you will more than enough. I hope that we might know what it means to need Jesus and the healing he provides that we press in close, just to touch the fringe of his cloak. And I hope that you might know that you are invited here— to this place, in this time, to this table, and this community— to be nourished and healed and be taught by our incarnate and ever-compassionate God. Amen. 

Follow - Trinity Lutheran Church

My latest sermon at Trinity Lutheran Church in Jacksonville, Florida, was a prime example of what happens when I've had a long week, the gospel text feels more convicting to myself than anyone I might be preaching to, and the Holy Spirit catches me between the two worship services.

If I uploaded the sermon audio from both the 9am and 11am worship services, you'd be surprised by how different they sound. They are almost 3 minutes different in time and I'm honestly not even sure what I preached at the second service. But that's the work of the Spirit. Which is also why I don't have a manuscript to share with you from last week, and why I am posting it so late. I wasn't sure if I would share it with the world at all. But, alas, I'm a sucker for consistency and I will try to always upload my sermon and sermon audio for those who want to be a part of this community of faith.

You can find my sermon audio from last week at the link here and you can read the gospel lesson below. Peace to you.

Luke 9:51-62

When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. And he sent messengers ahead of him. On their way they entered a village of the Samaritans to make ready for him; but they did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. When his disciples James and John saw it, they said, “Lord, do you want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” But he turned and rebuked them. Then they went on to another village.

As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”Another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

How will we live the life we get to live? - Redeemer Episcopal

Luke 13:1-9 (NRSV) 

At that very time there were some present who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. ²He asked them, “Do you think that because these Galileans suffered in this way they were worse sinners than all other Galileans? ³No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all perish as they did. ⁴Or those eighteen who were killed when the tower of Siloam fell on them—do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others living in Jerusalem? ⁵No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all perish just as they did.”

⁶Then he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and found none. ⁷So he said to the gardener, ‘See here! For three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree, and still I find none. Cut it down! Why should it be wasting the soil?’ ⁸He replied, ‘Sir, let it alone for one more year, until I dig around it and put manure on it. ⁹If it bears fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.’”

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You can listen to my sermon here.

Click on Mar 24, 2019 - Lent 3, "What we do matters"

(It is fairly similar to what is written below.)

There have been far too many tragedies lately. Between the cyclones throughout Mozambique, and the massacre in Christchurch, New Zealand— just naming those two are enough. But in the United States, we have seen unprecedented winter storms, terrible fires, bomb cyclones and floods throughout the midwest, and it seems every other week there is news of more violence. As I scanned the news, I realized that I could spend twenty minutes recounting the horrific things that have happened just in this past week. But I don’t need to do that for all of us to know that there have been far too many tragedies lately. 

This lament echoes the crowd’s from the gospel text as they their own story to Jesus this morning. Pilate had massacred Galileans recently. Jesus replies with another story: one of 18 people who were killed in an accident when a tower fell on them.

These tragedies, like the ones we experience today, begin to turn the wheels of our minds and hearts. They made people feel anxious. The question on the crowd’s mind was, “why did these people die?” That’s often the question we ask when bad things happen, right? Why? 

And the rest of the question doesn’t matter so much: we can fill in the blank… 

Why did God allow this to happen? 

Why did these people die?

Why do bad things happen to innocent and good people?

We are often asking “why?” 

Jesus replies that it is not a question of “why” they died, but that we will all die: the question is how will we live in the meantime? 

Father Wiley has been telling us for a few weeks now, that Lent is not a time to put aside our vices for a few weeks, just to pick them back up again after Easter. So, I’ll repeat what the rector has said before: vices, ideas, perspectives, and ideologies that we set at the foot of Christ, even as a Lenten discipline, should never be picked back up again. Jesus is explicit in the story this morning— life is fragile and short. What we do in the meantime matters. 

Lent is a time of preparation, a time of examining our lives, and ultimately, a time of repentance. That is what Jesus says in the text twice: “No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all perish as they did. No, I tell you; unless you repent, you will all perish as they did.” 

Now, I thought about bringing a milk crate to stand on this morning and just yelling “repent or perish!” for 8 to 10 minutes, like the campus preachers do on the green at UNF. But first of all, it doesn’t really seem to be working for the campus preachers, and secondly, I think we have the wrong idea about repentance. And perishing, for that matter. 

Usually when I hear the word “repent,” I think about feeling really sorry for something, expressing regret for my faults and my sins, or even becoming more morally righteous. I should BE a better person if I’m truly repentant. And ultimately, I think those preachers on the green are concerned about how good we are on earth so that we don’t go to hell when we die.  

But repentance is less about where we go when we die, and more about how we live our lives today. If sin is turning away from God’s grace and neighbor, repentance is actively turning TOWARD God’s grace and our neighbor. Repentance is about accepting and living into the fact that God has already saved us from the power of sin through Jesus life, death, and resurrection. 

When Jesus talks of “perishing,” he isn’t talking about some divine punishment in the afterlife. He means that when we deny God and God’s grace, we are not able to fully live into who we were created to be. Our souls are not whole. We perish in comparison to the life we could be living in Christ. And this life is fragile and this life is short. What we do in the meantime matters. 

God has given us an incredible opportunity to seize God’s graciousness in this life. God does not leave us to our own devices to repent and be made new. As Jesus’ parable suggests, God gives us everything we need to flourish and produce good fruit: we are formed and reformed in baptism, nourished and fed in the holy meal, reminded of God’s goodness and love in God’s Word, enriched and cultivated with the liturgy. God has extended grace upon grace to God’s people through the life, death, and resurrection of Christ Jesus. Now we are asked to do what we were made by God to do: produce good fruit, actively turn back to God and to our neighbors, to see the world with the lens of grace instead of the lens of sin.  

Therefore, in this season of Lent, I invite you to examine those things that cause you to perish and cast aside your lens of sin for the lens of eternal and everlasting grace that God in Christ Jesus has gifted us on the cross. Because this life is fragile and this life is short. What we do in the meantime matters. Amen. 

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This sermon (or a Spirited version of it) was originally preached by me, Rev. Sarah Locke, on March 24, 2019 at Redeemer Episcopal in Jacksonville, Florida where I serve as the Assisting Priest and College Chaplain. 

Here I Am

It has been a long time since I have written anything.  It turns out that seminary keeps you as busy as everyone says it does!

I just got back from an incredible trip to Haiti where seven of us spent six days in the small village of Yvon building a church.  I am never very good about writing after I come back from trips - it takes me a long time to absorb everything after a trip like that.

But as I reflect on my trip and recover from sleep (and binge watch Netflix), I cannot help but think of the words that our Mary uttered just a few weeks ago in the lectionary.  My sermon might not do it justice, but I keep thinking about how willingly Mary accepted her new journey with God.

Another thing rolling around in my brain is about internship.  Where am I going? Will we have a weekend free to get married? Why hasn't anyone emailed me in over three weeks?

But I do have one assurance.  God is calling me to something different.  And God is there when I take that journey.  No matter where I am called - to Haiti, Argentina, London, or South Carolina - God provides and God journeys with me.  All I have to say is, "Here I am."

So with that in mind, here's a link to my sermon from Advent 4. I had the incredible opportunity to preach in my home congregation over Christmas break.  I heard a lot of people say that it was a blessing to have me preach that morning, but I feel that I have been blessed doubly by such an incredible congregation and the story of Mary that has been resonating in my soul for several weeks.

Running to Worship

I used to get looks (and oftentimes comments) as I walked from my dorm to the gym while everyone was outside of the chapel chatting before they went in to worship.

"Skipping chapel for the gym (again)?"
"Why don't you just run after chapel?" (As if I hadn't thought of that idea.)
"Your priorities seem off."

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I go to chapel then run afterwards. Sometimes I run as long as I can before chapel and then make it back in time to worship. I don't skip chapel everyday. (Not that I would give two hoots about it if someone never ever came to chapel- do what you do.)

I'm just saying this happens often enough that people notice when I walk to the gym.

A friend asked me why I don't just wait until after chapel has started if I don't want to hear people be rude about my habits. I could do that. But I think should be able to expect people to respect me enough to let me do my own thing without criticizing me.  I don't do it to get a rise out of people- I have other ways of doing that.  And maybe I should wait an extra ten or fifteen minutes to walk to the gym.  But that's not the point.  When I want to run, I should be able to walk across the quad and go run without people judging me.

Did you notice my first sentence says that I used to get looks from people?  Nope, it doesn't happen anymore.  Probably because of my "I don't give a shit" attitude, but maybe because I actually have my priorities straighter than people first thought.

Here's why I sometimes run instead of going to chapel:

It has nothing to do with not having enough time.
It has nothing to do with school work that I need to get done.

It has everything to do with the fact that I am able to worship God wherever I am, during whatever I am doing.  And for me, running helps me focus on God.
It has everything to do with the fact that I cannot attend to my spiritual health until my mental, emotional, and physical health is straight.

I don't think this isn't the same for everyone, but I'm not making it up either. According to Abraham Maslow, we need certain things as human beings before we are able to truly achieve any "self-actualization," which (right or wrong), I translate as my spiritual health.

Here is Maslow's pyramid of needs: 

I have come to realize that when I do to chapel just because people say I should, I don't want to be spiritual. I don't even really want to worship God. When I try to fulfill my spiritual needs before my bottom level physical need (health/exercise) or my emotional needs (esteem through feeling good about myself) or my mental needs (security that I am not running my mind into the ground), I cannot bring myself to be spiritually present. Everything else starts to break down.

I realize that this starts to sound weird when you talk about people who have had major tragedies and lost their homes and are fighting to legitimately fulfill their physiological needs. Most people find spirituality the only thing they can cling to in those situations.  But I'm not in that type of situation.

I live a relatively comfortable life. And should I be thanking God on an hourly, secondly basis? Yes, absolutely. And I worship like that. I thank God constantly. It's not a process or a checklist I go through in my brain: do I feel healthy? Am I mentally okay? How am I feeling emotionally? Good? Okay, now I can go worship God.  That's not how it works.  It is an ongoing process and some days I don't feel as if I can sufficiently worship God in a chapel the way I can on a treadmill.

An organized church service does not always feel like appropriate worship for me.  Sometimes disciplining myself to run nine miles feels more appropriate because I can focus on JUST Him, something I find hard to do when I am in chapel.

I understand that it is unconventional. I don't always worship in a chapel. I'm not always wearing dress shoes. But I worship God in the ways that feel appropriate and it doesn't feel right for other people to judge me for it. After all, it's my salvation and my relationship with God that is at risk not theirs, right?

The Way Things Change

I haven't written very much this month. I haven't really missed it and that makes me sad. I have been working hard learning Greek. I only have a few more days until I start class. I have also been packing to move. And all this week people have been trying to say "see you later" when they are really saying "goodbye." It is sad and stressful.

Because this really is the end of part of my life. I am entering a new part, a different part. I don't have anything to truly connect me to this place anymore. I have friends here, but within the next year they will probably be leaving and doing their own next adventures. Ronnie will be moving to South Carolina with me in about four months. Then we will have a new life together.

"The embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer."  -Marcus Aurelius

So in honor of these memories, these goodbyes, and embraces, and dreams, here's some songs I adore. They have been getting me through the past few weeks. I don't think music has to be about Christ to claim that it is worship. I think there is a lot of music that has a purity about it and that is what makes it holy. The Bible doesn't say "there's a time to sing gospel music," it just says there's a time to sing. This is how I have been worshipping God lately...