Showing posts with label give. Show all posts
Showing posts with label give. Show all posts

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Sowing Seeds

My dad and I do not always get along. I fault him for not teaching me things like what to do when I get a flat tire or where to put the oil in my car or the fact that I have to renew your registration every year on your birthday (or you'll get a ticket).  (I know next to nothing about cars, if you can't tell.)  And it is always in one of those high-stress situations that I end up calling him in tears screaming, "why didn't you ever teach me this!? Why did you just do everything for me instead of showing me how to do it for myself!?"  

And I usually hang up on him, ask a stranger to help me, and eventually call Dad back to apologize and cry about the dozen other things that had gone wrong that day.  And even though I do sometimes wish my dad would have shown me a little more about cars, he spent a lot of his time showing me things much more important. 

We didn't always have a lot of money growing up - my parents spent the first year or so of marriage in a trailer - but even on a military salary, my dad found a way to give back.  Sometimes that meant coaching a baseball team (even if my brother hated it) or putting a little bit in the offering plate at church.  Before I entered high school, my dad retired from the Army and started a new job that paid quite a bit more than we were ever used to.  And although my dad spent a lot of that hard earned money spoiling my family, he also spent a lot of it giving back to people he cared about. 

I was recently asked what two characteristics I value most in a person.  I answered, "honesty and generosity." My dad is the epitome of those two characteristics.  And he valued those characteristics in others as well.  He tried to be intentional about the people he gave to - he wanted to have a relationship with them.  

He gave to Miss Martha in downtown Petersburg and she called him Santa Claus when he brought children's toys each Christmas.  The homeless and poverty-stricken men around his construction sites for his town homes knew him by name and often worked for him for a few extra dollars. He always found work for the handicapped men who came and asked for it.  He tried to be intentional about who he gave to, but he didn't always know if the money he gave would be used for good.  He had faith in Miss Martha and knew she had a heart for giving, but some of the men admitted that they spent the money earned on alcohol.  It was disappointing, but he kept employing them, talking with them, loving them. He continues to give. Sometimes to people you might not think deserve it (including my brother and me). He never thinks twice about it anymore - he just gives.  

This Sunday we heard Jesus tell the parable of the seed sower (4:26-29).  He scattered seed and left it.  He didn't tend it, he didn't worry himself over it, he didn't toil in the dirt with it.  He just scattered the seed and left it.  He went to sleep and woke up and the seed had spouted.  Eventually, ripe fruit came from the seed that was scattered.  So the man took his sickle and harvested because it was ready. 

See, that's what my dad has always shown me. We are called to sow good seeds.  There's no need to worry ourselves over whether they will produce good fruit - God will take care of all of that.  We just have to go out there and sow.  It's what my dad has done his entire life, expecting nothing in return, he has provided for my family, given to those in need, stepped up when he wasn't even asked to. And he never worried about whether my brother and I would grow up to be the perfect adults or if we would go to seminary or work in a casino or know how to fix a car.  He just gave and let God handle the rest. 


Sunday, July 20, 2014

Give to everyone who asks

Give to everyone who asks.
Emphasis on the ask. 

I must confess, this particular post was conceived after reading another seminarian's blog post from about a week ago.  His point (which is obviously a very valid point) is that we are to give to everyone who asks.  Period.  The end.  Not "give to everyone who asks and seems to have need," not "give to everyone who asks and is willing to repay you," not "give to everyone who asks and seems like they're telling the truth."  We are called to give to everyone who asks.

Luke 6:30 says, "Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back."

Matthew 5:42 says, "Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

But what if we are only called to give to those who ask.  Not the people we see as having a need.  Not the people we hope we can fix or help in order to get something out of it ourselves.  Not the people who are high profile and the world presents as "needy."

One of my biggest flaws is that I think I can fix things that I simply cannot fix.  Actually, I think I can and should fix things that people have no intention of fixing or don't want help in fixing.  I'm a chronic fixer.  A codependent fixer.  I want people to fix me too.

But I rarely wait for people to ask.  I never wait for "what do you think?" before giving my opinion.  I rarely wait for "how should I do it?" before letting them know how I would do it.  I barely ever wait for "can you help?" before I've offered three or four solutions to a problem.

What if this phrase is a commentary on our mission as a church?  What if the author intentionally didn't write, "give to everyone?"  What if we aren't supposed to walk into the impoverished part of town and declare their needs and hold out our hands for the "needy?"

I think it is especially an important self-care issue for caregivers.  We aren't going to be able to help all of the people who we think need help.  We aren't going to be able to help all of the people who we think deserve help or would benefit from help.  But we are able to help the people who ask for help.

Think about it: how many times did Jesus roll up, diagnose people, and decide to solve their problems?  Not too many times. In fact, in most of the time people are flocking to Jesus and asking for his help.  Of course, he responds appropriately to every single person- he helps them.  Even when he's in the middle of helping someone else.  Then after he helps people, he oftentimes retreats to the mountainside, the lake, or the wilderness to take care of himself.

Maybe this blog post isn't really going anywhere. (Did it go anywhere?) But I'll leave you with this:

Give to everyone who asks you.