My First Kairos Moment

kairos (ky·rôs) n. (from the Greek καιρος)
       A pivotal moment in time;
       a remarkable or noteworthy event waited for.
       The appointed time in the purpose of God.
       A passing instant, when an opening appears, which must be driven through with force if success is to be achieved.


When I was ten years old in 2002, I found my parents arguing in the living room. I was spying on them and my mom was crying. A lot. They saw me and assured me that "everything is fine" and "mom is just sad."

A few weeks later, my brother Alex and I were told that my dad was being sent to Afghanistan.

Then a few weeks after that, he was gone.

I didn't know at the time how dramatically my dad's absence would affect my life.

I saw my mom slowly wither away. She stopped eating, I'm sure she barely slept. I don't blame her for this. I never have. I'm sure that if my husband was sent to a place as dangerous as Afghanistan, I would just die as the plane took off. She took care of Alex and I the best she could, but she was broken. She hurt all the time and was overcome with horrible fear every single day. I can't even imagine how she must have felt.

I was messed up too. I did as much questioning as a ten year-old could do at the time. I was furious at God. Obviously it was God who had done this to my family, I thought. But why? Why would this amazing God that I am supposed to love and respect and cherish do something so wretched? He was physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally breaking the people who are closest to me. He took the strongest woman I have ever known and turned her into a frail woman who could barely keep from crying every day. Why would He do that? 

I didn't want Him to be any God of mine.

Then came that day. The day that every little girl would dream of if she thought to.

If she had to.

Watching my dad walk off the plane after nine months of being in a desert was the most amazing sight I have ever experienced. I couldn't describe the feeling to you even if I had every word in the dictionary at my disposal. It was as if he had come back from the dead.

It completely changed my life.

That was the first time I ever thought to myself, There MUST be a God. He brought Daddy back from what we were sure was his death. We were prepared to never see him again. And HE brought him back. 

It is the best moment I will probably ever have in my life. I hope my wedding day and the births of my children are half as beautiful. Because it made me believe in God.

My dog reminds me of Jesus

Let me introduce you to someone who is pretty important in my life: 

This is my best friend and first dog, Reagan (and that's me on the right).

Reagan will be 13 years old this July, which means he has been in my life since I was 8 years old. He is absolutely fantastic.

One of the coolest things about Reagan is that he is so forgiving. He reminds me of Jesus (stay with me, here).  Jesus goes to all these unfortunate and broken people and says, "here, let me take your hand" and "I love you even when you are mad at me."

Most importantly, Jesus says "I am yours and you are mine."

Reagan says this on a regular basis. Okay, maybe he doesn't say it, but it's pretty obvious that he means it.  Dogs (and frankly any pet) can bring an entirely different perspective to your spirituality.

You're honest with them. Have you ever cried to your bunny?
They know when you're mad at them. How many times a day do you trip over a paw and yell obscenities in their direction? 
You're vulnerable around them. Have you ever undressed in front of your dog?
They can make you feel better. Purring kitten, anyone?

What do all of these things have in common?

Jesus knows and does these things too. You just have to have a relationship with Him.

And the best part is, you don't have to clean up after Jesus. He doesn't make messes on your carpet or need any vaccines.

He is yours and you are His.


Jesus loves you, 
Sarah

God Moment

If any of my readers know me in person, you know that I am... um... enthusiastic.

Let's just say there are some times when I get so excited that my words can't come out as fast as my mind is working. 

Right now I'm having one of those moments. And no, my fingers can't type as fast as my mind is working either. It's a problem. Because I just had one of those fantastic God moments that make me look up and go, "Okay! I see You!"

I am severely anxious about being so young. 

I graduated college after two years of study (when I was 20). 

I took "a year off" (you're allowed to laugh at that, friends) while I was trying to figure out what to do with my life (I'll be 21 in two weeks).

I start seminary in the fall. 

I will graduate (God willing) and receive my first call 4 years later (when I'm 25 years old). 

I was expressing this fear to one of my best friends Rachel at dinner tonight. I am terrified that people won't want to hear the Word from a 25 year old chick. Heck, I am afraid that people won't want to hear anything from a 25 year old chick. 

"I'm going to be expected to counsel people! Give them real life advice!" I was ranting (rather loudly) at the restaurant. "How am I going to do that?" We eventually went on with the conversation, talking about plans with my boyfriend and what we were doing next weekend. But I was still thinking about how terrifying it will be to be only 25 years old when I am called to a church. 

When the couple sitting next to us got up to leave from dinner, the man said, "excuse me, may I say something?" 

"I just want you to know that I would listen to you. If what you said was through God's Word and in the right Spirit, I would listen to you. Even at 25. And my wife and I are almost 60. You shouldn't feel threatened because you are young."

Okay! I see You!