Christian First

Like many Americans, and people all over the world, my faith is a huge determining factor in my decision-making. Although I'm not as "good" at it as I would like to imagine, I try to handle most situations in an ethical, theological, and Christo-centric way.

I am certainly an American, but I must confess, as I have confessed before - I am a Christian first. "Christ follower," "Christian," "disciple" - however you wish to put it - is my first and most important label. In fact, it is my only label. Many people will try to give me other labels first: liberal, feminist, American, millennial, Army brat, regular brat... whatever. But the reality of it is this: my identity in Christ, the fact that God has claimed me as God's child, makes all of those other labels fall away (Colossians 3:11; Galatians 3:28). 

That is why my decision-making comes from the deep reality of my identity as a Christian. That is why my Christianity deeply influences who I will vote for in the coming presidential election. It is, in fact, the only thing that will influence me in the upcoming election. Call me ignorant to economics, call me a pseudo political scientist (although my bachelor's degree says I'm a real one), but it will be my faith that influences me most in this election, not my fragile identity as an American or liberal or millennial.

My top five "issues" as a Christian: 

1) Mercy (Psalm 145:9; Hebrew 4:16; see also Jesus on the cross)
2) Equity (Romans 2:11; Galatians 3:28; 1 Corinthians 12)
3) Care (Philippians 2:4; Galatians 6:2; Proverbs 21:13; John 13:34-35)
4) Justice (Romans 12:19; Isaiah 1:17, 30:18-19; Micah 6:8)
5) Wholeness/Reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-19; also see every healing passage)


These are the top five things I look for in a candidate's policies, in his or her character, and in his or her history. These are obviously biblically driven and things that Jesus found to be incredibly important.

2 Corinthians tells us that as God's children, we have the responsibility, the privilege, and opportunity to proclaim the message of reconciliation.

"All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation." 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Reconciliation was Jesus' purpose on this earth, therefore as one of his followers, it is my purpose on this earth. As presidential candidates, I will look for the candidate whose policies allow for these qualities to shine in this nation and throughout the world. I will look for a candidate who seems to have a heart that aligns with the gospel of Christ Jesus, regardless of what his or her religious beliefs might be. I will look for a candidate who speaks, acts, and loves most like Jesus - one who has high hopes of bringing mercy, equity, care, justice, and reconciliation into this broken nation and throughout the world.

I invite you to join me in digging deep this political season and discern Jesus' platform on each of these hot button issues. There is no doubt our conclusions will vary, but if we direct our eyes and hearts toward God and Christ's work of reconciliation, I hope we can begin to find common ground.

No guilt

Today I woke up around 9am when my FitBit started buzzing on my wrist. My husband asked if I wanted breakfast, I mumbled "yes," and I rolled over and went back to sleep until noon. And I don't feel guilty about it at all.

It has taken me a really long time to be okay with taking care of myself. I used to feel guilty for wanting to stay home when others went out (especially in college). I used to apologize when people asked me out to lunch and I didn't want to go. In fact, most of the time I would go anyway, even if I didn't really want to just because I felt guilty about it.

We are so conditioned from an early age that we must put our family first, we must put our husband first, we must put our children first. And if we don't we are "bad" in any (or all) of those roles. The Bachelor recently showed a clip of Amanda (single mom) talking about how difficult it has been to use the last few weeks to take care of herself because she's not used to focusing on herself since she has two daughters. She feels guilty for pursuing something she wants and for taking care of herself.

There's a lot of guilt that surrounds self-care nowadays. I don't know if it was always there, but I have noticed it a lot as I have become older and more comfortable in my own routine, my own skin, and with my own needs. It seems that a woman, especially a woman with a husband or children, is not supposed to take even a few minutes out of her day to care for herself.

I first recognized this guilt and judgement in myself my first year of seminary. I had a really hard time figuring out if I was in the right place during those first few months. I was missing home, missing my friends, and the novelty of a new place and new people had worn out. So I got back into my routine of running. I'd often run during our chapel and lunch hour, enduring glares and comments from people on their way to chapel. I made excuses, I apologized, and I felt super guilty about it. And then I thought, you know, this is how I am taking care of myself. And even though other people might not be okay with it, I'm sure God understands.

Since then, I have had a long uphill battle with self-care. But I no longer apologize about weekly (or daily) milkshakes with my roommates. I no longer feel guilty about sleeping in when I have nothing to do. I don't judge myself for seeking refuge in my bed for several hours at a time, binge-watching a horrible Netflix series (looking at YOU Vampire Diaries). When someone asks me to lunch and I don't want to go, I simply say, "no thank you" with a smile and don't give it a second thought.

It has taken a lot of self-discovery to be okay with self-care. The more I learn about myself and the more in-tune I am with my body and my needs, the easier it is to not only care for myself, but translate that to others. I'm an introvert through and through so my self-care often looks a bit lonely, a little quiet, and sometimes awkward - sitting in the same room with my husband without speaking. My parishioners (and husband) joke that I nap a lot, but I don't feel guilty about it anymore. I need a three hour nap after Sunday's service.  Without sleep I'm grumpy, unproductive, and not a fun person to be around.

Self-care is vitally important to me because it not only allows me to care for myself, but it gives me the energy, patience, and courage to care for others. And with service to others being my love language, it is important that I have the energy to do it often and well. Not to mention, self-care is biblical. There's a reason Jesus went into the wilderness and into the mountains to pray.

I'm also learning that it's important that my self-care be public and unapologetic. I have so many friends who struggle to take care of themselves and continuously "pour from an empty cup" until they are exhausted, burned out, and bitter. Not to say that this hasn't happened to me (to the point of panic attacks and total withdrawal), but if I am able to be a positive example for self-care even half of the time, I am inadvertently giving other women permission (something we so desperately seek) to also care for themselves.

Although the guilt and judgement associated with self-care is something I'm still struggling with on a daily basis, I'm being encouraged by women and pastors who view self-care as not a "treat yo self" kind of splurge, but a daily, precious, and necessary part of our vocation. And I hope to pass that encouragement on to others and my ministry continues, by not feeling guilty, being unapologetic, and napping to my heart's content.

Good news

The passage from this morning comes from the Gospel according to Saint Luke 2:41-52.

What is the good news in the passage?

That's how we are taught to start writing our sermons in seminary. That's the question that we ask ourselves when we are stuck. That's what my husband annoyingly repeats to me when I turn to him with an over-dramatic sigh and say, "I've got nothing."

Sometimes - I think I can safely say most of the time - it's not terribly hard to find the good news in a biblical passage. At least at the surface, it is typically something like, "Jesus heals" or "Jesus brings us into community" or "we are all a part of the Kingdom of God through Christ."

Other times, finding the good news in a passage is not that easy.

Sometimes, finding the good news in life is just as difficult.

As I think about the last few days we have had together as a community at Luther House Chapel, I can't help but think that this is one of those times when finding the good news is not so easy.

Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy, festivities, being with family, eating good food. But this Christmas we had to lay one of our sisters to rest much too soon.

And as we sit here this morning, looking for the good news in this passage, we are also looking for good news in this place, in this season, as we mourn one of our very own in great sorrow.

This morning, verse 48 sticks out to me - "His parents didn't know what to think." As I sat at my desk looking for words for this morning, as I stood at the wake and funeral over the past few days, as I felt her absence so poignantly in this community, I didn't know what to think.

I longed for good news, I longed for joy and peace - in this congregation and in this passage, but I was unable to find it. And I kept going back to that verse - "They didn't know what to think."

And not even a week after Christmas, we encounter this passage and we ask a similar question as Mary asked of Jesus that day, "Why have you done this to us?" We ask God in the midst of our grief and pain, "Why now? Why her? When we loved her so dearly, when she was such a part of our family? Why have you done this to us?"

And then this next comment from Mary sticks with us even more: "I have been frantic, searching for you everywhere." In the middle of this season of our own grief and sorrow, we sometimes look to the sky and call out, "Where are you, God? We are searching for you everywhere!" And we are searching for God frantically.

And I wonder, if Jesus had been older in this story, if he had been more mature, would Jesus have had a different answer for his frantic mother? Would he have been more gentle? Because as the story goes, he says, "You should have known where I was. Why were you searching for me? I was in my father's house." I imagine the twelve-year old Jesus adding something like "Come on mom! Stop worrying!"

I also imagine that when Jesus was older and more mature, he reflected on that memory with his mother. I'm sure she remembered it much more vividly than he did - her fear, anxiety, maybe even her anger when she was frantically searching for him. And Jesus lovingly would calm her saying, "Mother, you should know - I would never leave you, I have never left you. I will never leave you."

This is good news.

And if we move back further in the passage, there are two other details that point toward the good news. Stay with me, here.

At the beginning of this story, it says that Mary and Joseph weren't worried about having Jesus right next to them. They assumed he was with the other travelers, so they didn't fret. This tells us one of two things. Either they were pretty neglectful parents, or they were a part of a community that was so closely knit that they were comfortable with not knowing exactly where their son was. I'm going to go out on a limb and say Mary and Joseph were not neglectful parents.

For most people, it might be hard to imagine a community so closely knit that people's children run around and their parents know that they will be taken care of. But it's not difficult to imagine if you are a part of Luther House. We know what it is like to be a part of a community that comes together in one of the busiest times of the year to care for one another and love one another well.

This is good news.

And finally, we can look at what Jesus was doing in the temple while his parents were frantically searching for him. He was sitting among the people listening and asking, he was understanding and answering. We have a savior who sits among us, even in our grief, listening and asking, understanding and answering. We are loved by a savior who understands our pain and our grief because he has endured it the same as we have. He endures it with us today.

And although we have so many questions, so many things left unanswered, the good news is that we don't have to be the ones who answer the questions. We don't have to answer the "whys" and the "whats nexts." We are called simply to obey, to love one another, to carry each other onward in community in the way that our Lord taught us.

This is good news.