Reclaiming our Stories: Rebekah

By Tobi Fleck 

Read more of Rebekah's story: Genesis 24; 25:21-34; 26:1-17; 27 

Genesis 24:57-61

They [Laban and Bethuel] said, “We will call the girl, and ask her.” And they called Rebekah, and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” She said, “I will.” So they sent away their sister Rebekah and her nurse along with Abraham’s servant and his men. And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “May you, our sister, become thousands of myriads; may your offspring gain possession of their foes.” Then Rebekah and her maids rose up, mounted the camels. And followed the man; thus the servant [of Abraham] took Rebekah and went his way.

At the beginning of my internship, I had the wonderful experience of working with one of the local Jewish Rabbis on an interfaith project. After the project was finished, she told me that I was free to stay in touch, as she understood how difficult transitions to new cities could be. This prompted a continuing resolution to myself that whenever possible, I would attend Shabbat on Friday night. While there were many parts of Shabbat I loved, one practice stood out to me. During the Avot, not only are the male ancestors (Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob) named, but so were the women! Every Friday, we remembered Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah. Naming them every Friday rekindled my curiosity as to the stories of these pillars of faith. 

So, here’s an overview of the beginning of Rebekah’s story. Abraham, being very old and having watched his wife Sarah die, sends out his trusted servant, whose name we do not know, with specific instructions to travel back to Abraham’s homeland in search for a wife for Abraham’s son, Isaac. It cannot be someone of Canaanite descent, but must be someone from Abraham’s own tribe. Once the Servant reaches Abraham’s homeland, he prays to God for success in his task and asks for signs. And, sure enough, almost as soon as he was done praying, a woman, our Rebekah, walks up and fulfills all of the signs he asked of God. Better yet, she was indeed of Abraham’s kin!

The Servant goes with Rebekah to her family home and shares his story with Rebekah’s family. The whole story, from Abraham commissioning him to go forth, to his conversations with God, and Rebekah’s role in fulfilling it all. 

And then, we get to the part that still amazes me. Rebekah is asked for her consent. We hear her voice said “I will.” Now, in today’s day, that might seem like a no-brainer. Of course it would be her decision if she’d go and marry someone she’d never met, who lives in a different country. But in scripture, rarely do we hear of women making these choices, let alone literally hear their voices say the words. Rebekah’s voice here is important, and important to acknowledge. 

There are tons of discussion questions that could take place around the story of Rebekah. Questions surrounding Abraham’s choice to find a kinswoman for his son’s wife. Questions around the rivalry between Israel and Canaan. And how that might relate to modern day rivalries. Or maybe questions about times you have asked God for help in a task- times you’ve asked for signs and have they been given to you. 

Often, we only hear one side of a story, particularly the dominant, privileged side, but today I want you to ask yourself: Whose voices do I hear often? What stories do they tell? Whose voices don’t I hear? What stories might they tell? And how has this played into the entrenched racism rampant in our own country? 

White folx: There are many resources out there to help you begin to hear other voices, other lived experiences. I would encourage you to take some time this week to pick up a book, or download an audio book, or visit a website, and listen to voices you’ve not heard before. 

Relationships Matter - Redeemer Episcopal Church

Matthew 5:21-37 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

Concerning Anger

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. 23 So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

Concerning Adultery

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.[i]

Concerning Divorce

31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Concerning Oaths

33 “Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ 34 But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.

________

Below is the sermon I preached on February 16, 2020 at Redeemer Episcopal Church. You can read the sermon manuscript here, or listen to the sermon (with infusions from the Spirit) at this link. Always remember that I preach to a particular context in a particular time, but I hope it speaks to you as well! 

God of reconciliation, give us the courage to live for you and strive toward the relationships you desire for us among all people and all of creation. Amen. 

There is a famous story about St. Francis of Assisi, where he is asked by Brother Masseo: “Why you? Why does all the world seem to be running after you, and everyone seems to want to see you and hear you and obey you? You are not a handsome man. You do not have great learning or wisdom. You are not a nobleman. So why is all the world running after you?” 

Saint Francis, with his characteristic humility, explained that God’s glory shone all the brighter through the weakness of such an obviously “miserable servant.” 

Of course, this has turned into somewhat of a joke, but the question remains: why were people so drawn to the life of St. Francis as he taught and preached, following him around the Italian countryside and giving up their bourgeois lifestyles to become monks and nuns?

I have been spending some time studying the life of St. Francis because some of my students and I head to Italy in about three months. On Friday I attended a lecture about his life and some of the sites we will be visiting while we are there. Every part of the Italian countryside seems influenced by St. Francis in some way. 

I think much of it has to do with his authenticity. In the 13th century, medieval Christians liked what was in the Bible and what Jesus said about how to live according to the Gospel, but no one truly thought it was possible to actually live like Jesus described. They were all wonderful teachings in theory, but they were impossible to put into practice. 

St. Francis proved them wrong. He gave up his wealth and inheritance, he gave up comfort and a permanent home to follow God’s call. He proved through his life and his actions that following Jesus’ call was, in fact, possible. 

I share this story of St. Francis because the people who would have first heard Jesus’ words that we heard this morning would have thought that these things sounded good in theory, but they were impossible to practice. 

This portion of the sermon on the mount is called the antitheses. Jesus says repeatedly, “you have heard it said… but…” It’s a bit misleading because it sounds like Jesus is replacing long-standing Jewish laws with something completely different. But what he actually does is intensifies the commands. 

I think what resonates with so many people today about St. Francis is that his entire life was centered around and shaped by relationships. The very first worship service he led was in a leper colony outside of Assisi. He thought that is was important to be in relationship with those who were exiled from society— the sick, the dying, the orphaned, and the widowed. 

When he was first moved to poverty and preaching, he realized that he would have to create his own order of friars. All of the other orders had a hierarchy of authority and St. Francis wasn’t interested in that. He wanted all of his followers to be brothers, he even called himself a custodian, the lowest servant of them all. 

When St. Francis began having many followers, he sent them out in pairs to spread the gospel. Of course, this was because it is biblical— Jesus did the same thing— but he also wanted to make sure his fellow friars always had to rely on someone else. Relationships were the most important thing to St. Francis. Your relationship with other people and with creation, he believed, was a direct reflection of your relationship with God. 

St. Francis was devoted to God’s word, and more specifically the words and the way of Jesus Christ. He longed to see the fullness of the kingdom of God in this world. And he knew that in the fullness of the kingdom, people would live in full communion with one another. 

Because that is Jesus’ intent here, right? The law seemed to be asking the bear minimum of God’s people and Jesus is upping the ante. 

There is a big spectrum of emotion and action between simply not murdering someone and deep, fulfilling, restored relationships. What if the opposite of killing someone was restorative, and healing community with someone? 

There is a big difference between simply not committing adultery and treating others as truly beautiful children of God. Jesus seems to say that adultery, murder, divorce, and even swearing oaths have less to do with individual actions, and much more to do with our relationships with one another. 

And, Jesus says, this relationship we have with one another affects our relationship with God. So much so that if we remember that we have issues with someone, we should leave and go settle those issues before we even come to the altar and stand before God. 

Relationships matter. 

That’s what made St. Francis’ life so appealing to so many, that’s why his impact has lasted over 800 years. Because he demonstrated what happens when people choose to take Jesus’ words seriously and devote themselves to not the bear minimum in relationships but, the utmost and the most whole in our relationships.

This is what God proved to us and promised to us in the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. That relationships matter so much, that full communion with God’s people is so important, that God is willing and even enthusiastic about coming into this world as a human to be among us, healing us, and feeding us. 

We are invited into this kind of communion with one another and with God in the waters of baptism and we are reminded of the divine example of God’s grace, mercy, and commitment to God’s people every week when we gather for this meal. We get to participate in this gift of life given to us in these words. We can choose to believe, like St. Francis did, that relationships matter. Not only our relationship with the divine, but also our relationship with one another and all of creation. And we are called not to the bear minimum, but to fullness of life. Not only is it possible, but it will change the world. 

Relationship Through Prayer - Redeemer Episcopal Church

Trinity icon by Andrei Rublev
There is a place at the table for you.

Luke 11:1-13

He was praying in a certain place, and after he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” ²He said to them, “When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. ³Give us each day our daily bread. ⁴And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us. And do not bring us to the time of trial.” 

⁵And he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; ⁶for a friend of mine has arrived, and I have nothing to set before him.’ ⁷And he answers from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ 

⁸I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, at least because of his persistence (shamelessness) he will get up and give him whatever he needs. 

⁹“So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. ¹⁰For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 

¹¹Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish? ¹²Or if the child asks for an egg, will give a scorpion? ¹³If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

_____________________

If you would like to listen to this sermon (with infusions from the Spirit), you can find it at the link here. This sermon was originally preached by me, Rev. Sarah Locke, on July 28, 2019 at Redeemer Episcopal Church. 

Grace and peace to you from God, our Father, who is so radical to invite us into relationship through prayer and allows us to be present in all of our human messiness. Amen. 

On Thursday evening this past week, I hosted a young adult gathering centered around the weird faith questions you sometimes feel too ashamed or silly to ask your priest.

In preparation for that gathering, I opened up my social media about a month ago to friends and my college students to ask me any religious or faith questions they’ve been wondering. It was anonymous and I was amazed by how many questions people had that they’ve never felt comfortable asking before!

I answered the questions as openly and honestly as I could and explained a little bit about why people might ask questions like that. Conversations like these are some of my favorites. It’s what we do with our college students in campus ministry every week— we ask big questions and we help one another sort them out. It is some of my favorite ministry.

After a few days, another question came in.  

“I don’t understand prayer,” it said, “I pray, but I feel like God already has a plan or answer so what’s the point? How am I supposed to pray?” 

And I let that question sit in my inbox for two days before I finally replied and said, “I promise to answer this question. But… I just don’t have a good answer. I don’t know.” 

And then I let that question sit there for a month. And I never replied to my friend. But I’ve been thinking about that question for an entire month until I opened up the gospel reading for this Sunday and I sighed with frustration, thinking, “Well great, now I’m going to have to try to answer this question.”

So that’s what I’ll do this morning with you all. I’ll attempt to answer this question about prayer that has been asked since the beginning of time, and a couple of other burning questions about prayer, like the ones the disciples had for Jesus in the gospel text this morning: How do we pray? Why do we pray? What’s the point? 

Do you ever think that the disciples got tired of Jesus never giving them a straight answer for anything? They ask him seemingly important and direct questions and he says, “let me tell you a story…” I imagine the disciples turning to one another after most of Jesus’ stories and going, “did you understand any of that? No? Okay great, me either.” 

Jesus does answer the disciples at the very beginning of this passage though. They say, “teach us to pray” and he recites a prayer for them to use each time they talk to God. And it’s the same prayer, more or less, that the church has been using for thousands of years. 

So, good for Jesus for finally giving them a straight answer. But then, because of course he can’t just stop with a simple answer, Jesus goes on to tell this story of a man and his sleeping neighbor. And the reason Jesus tells this story is that when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, they weren’t really asking for a prayer they could recite. What they wanted to know was about their relationship with God. 

Before then, if a person had the good fortune to encounter God, they were known to drop dead immediately. But somehow Jesus had this sort of normal, casual relationship with God and the disciples were curious about it. And as Jesus tells this story, he invites the disciples into an intimate relationship with their creator— that must have sounded blasphemous at best and downright ridiculous at worst.  

In this text, Jesus tells the story of a visitor has just arrived at a man’s house and he has nothing to feed him. So this man walks over to his neighbor’s house in the middle of the night, wake him up, and asks him for some bread. The text we read says that because of his persistence, the man gets up and gives him whatever he needs. But a better translation would be shamelessness. Because this man is so shameless in coming to ask for bread in the middle of the night, the neighbor gets up and gives him whatever he needs. 

And it *is* shameless isn’t it? Imagine the kind of relationship you must have with your neighbor to go pounding on their door in the middle of the night? I know people who have been living in the same house their entire lives and they don’t have that kind of relationship with their neighbors. It’s shameless and vulnerable to go to a person in the middle of the night and ask for bread. 

You see, I don’t think Jesus is teaching his disciples about what kind of prayers to pray, or even the frequency or urgency with which to pray. Jesus is telling a story about the kind of relationship we are invited into by the Holy Spirit. Unlike ever before, the disciples were invited to be vulnerable and shameless before God. 

When the disciples say, “Lord, teach us to pray,” what they are really saying it, “tell us about our relationship with God.” And Jesus gives them the most well-known prayer in all of Christianity, a prayer that begins with “Father.” Not “Lord,” or “Almighty” or any other number of names for the our most holy and ever gracious God, but Jesus invites his disciples and invites us to call God “Father,” “Abba,” “Dad.”  

We are called into a relationship with God that is more than an almighty ruler and servants. Even more than creator and created. We are invited into a relationship so intimate that Jesus says we can ask anything of God. And God says that this relationship is so good and wonderful that God will not only gives us everything we need in this life, our daily bread, but God will also give to us the Holy Spirit. 

You see, prayer is not about how, or why, or when we pray. The invitation to prayer is an invitation into a relationship with the Trinity, an invitation into a relationship with God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 

It is the same invitation that allows us to come to this table and eat the body and blood of Christ Jesus. It is the same invitation that dips us into the waters of baptism and renews our spirit. And God in Christ has already accepted this invitation for us, we don’t even *have* to respond. 

But we get to. We have the incredible privilege of reaching out to our creator, the one who was, and is, and will be forever more, the one who created the interstellar workings of the entire universe. And more than that, God listens. God wants to be in relationship with us and even more, the only reason we are able to reach out to God and be in this relationship is because God first began this relationship with us. In the very beginning. And continued that relationship despite our nonsense, when God sent God’s very self in Christ Jesus to be with us, journey with us, die on the cross, and be raised again for the forgiveness of our sins. That God— our God— as ridiculous as it sounds, wants us to be in relationship, to talk, and listen, and converse with us. That’s wild and full of grace and mercy and it truly doesn’t make much sense, but it is true. 

God created you and adores you and wants to be in relationship with you. 

So I’m sure I didn’t answer the question of prayer any better or more clearly than Jesus did, but I hope that you hear prayer as an invitation into a vulnerable, shameless, and holy relationship with our God, who created the entire expanse of the universe and cares enough about you to call you beloved and be present with you in all things through the Holy Spirit. Amen. 

A Reflection, a Farewell

Every Tuesday night I have the privilege of leading a bible study at the house of some of my wonderful parishioners. We start around 9pm and end as close to 10pm as I can get us without going too far into the night. Then we gather in the kitchen to continue to chat and eat whatever delicious food and sweets are present that night. By the time we leave (often somewhere between 10:30 and 11pm), I am so sleepy and stuffed that I zone out as another couple drives me home.

A few nights ago, we had bible study, realized that we only have a few weeks left together, and scheduled our very last bible study (which will end up being us gathering for food and possibly talking about Jesus a little bit). That evening as we drove home, I noticed the odd sound of country music coming over the Malaysian radio station. Thomas Rhett's "Die a Happy Man" washed over my ears and I smiled. Oo how I miss country music and seeing the stars at night and bonfires. I felt ready and eager to be "home" in the United States.

Then as I kept listening to the lyrics, I felt sorrow and maybe even regret. It's hard to name exactly the emotions that flooded into my heart, but it wasn't the joy of leaving, it wasn't the excitement of seeing my family at home.

"If I never get to see the Northern lights
Or if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower at night
Oh, if all I got is your hand in my hand
Baby, I could die a happy man"

The premise of the song is that this man has some "bucket list" items, but he sings that even if he doesn't get to do all of those things, he would "die a happy man" just because he gets to spend his days with this woman. I know this feeling all too well. Daniel and I used to move the furniture and dance in the living room. Or we would turn his small apartment into a movie theater. We went on some pretty incredible dates, but my favorite times together have been when we didn't have to spend any money at all. We were just together and happy. We have dreams and plans, but even if they didn't work out, we are still so happy simply being together.

But as I heard this song, I realized that we did get to see our metaphorical Northern lights this year. We did get to see our metaphorical Eiffel Tower at night. And while it's true that our love would be just as incredible and we would be just as happy without these experiences, the truth of the matter is that we have done things this year and seen things that we never could have imagined in our wildest dreams.

And I don't think I've been as grateful as I should have been. I took a lot of it for granted. I think part of it is because I never could have imagined being here and seeing these things this year - or maybe everything happened so quickly that I haven't had a chance to digest it- but I won't use that as an excuse. Until I started to hear that song play over and over in my head, I don't think I fully realized how amazing our first year of marriage has been. Every once in a while we would turn to one another and say, "We are living in Malaysia. How odd the way life turns out," but I don't think it all sank in the way it did the other night.

We saw the famous tea fields of the Cameron Highlands in Malaysia.
We dipped our toes into oceans and seas that I never would have thought we'd visit in our lifetime.
We rode a 40 year old elephant and fed an eight year old elephant!
We watched the sun rise over Angkor Wat.
We watched the sun set on a beach in Bali.
We rode on a crazy cable car in Langkawi and walked on a long curved suspension bridge.
We spent part of Thaipusam at Batu Caves.
We saw the giant reclining Buddha at Wat Pho.
We ate authentic pad thai from a street cart in Bangkok.
We watched a storm roll into the city, sweeping over the Petronas Towers and KL Tower, on the helipad of a skyscraper.
I've preached in three countries and had my sermons translated into several languages.
We went to Universal Studios in Singapore.
We also went to the rooftop pool at Marina Bay Sands and rode the Singapore Flyer.
We had dinner on the rooftop of the #1 restaurant in Phuket.
We shared many of these memories with my parents and Daniel's brother.

And last, but certainly not least, we spent the entire year being welcomed and loved by people who knew nothing about us and committed to helping us grow in ministry, in life, and in love.

This past year has been more incredible, difficult, and surprising than we could have ever imagined. And I think I am just now realizing that this isn't normal. This life is a privilege and an honor. This year has been such an unfathomable blessing from God and I know that we will not soon forget the beautiful memories we have shared in this first year of marriage.

It also gets me excited about what God has in store for us next. We are ready- where will our next adventure lead us?

Next Adventures

Daniel and I are trying hard to keep everyone informed about what is happening in our very busy lives. But every once and a while, we will rattle off the next six adventures as if they are just obstacles on the way to the next moment in our lives.  Please trust me when I say that they are not.  The truth is that when people ask, "so what are you doing next?" or "where are you headed?" I automatically (sometimes falsely) assume that they do not want to hear all of the places we are going in the next three weeks.  But maybe they do, maybe they really do care about our crazy lives and the roller coaster that we have only just begun.

So that's what this post is about.  If you really do care about the craziness that is happening in the next few weeks - here it is.

Daniel and I JUST left (two weeks for me, one week for him) internship training with the Global Missions division of the ELCA.  It was a blast, and we learned a lot about the "beautiful secret" things that the ELCA is doing through Global Missions.  If you're interested in these secret or unknown things, just ask me because I have gotten really geeked out about it. We just started a program that focuses on educating women, there's an international leadership program, and there are people all over the world doing really incredible things (like starting a Lutheran church in South Sudan in the midst of a civil war).  

All this to say, Daniel and I are officially a "missionary couple!!"  It sounds so crazy because I don't consider what we are doing next year "mission" work, but it is a pretty humbling title to carry around.  Especially among the other beautiful people who hold that title in this church. 

Right now we are heading to Columbus, OH, where my parents have so graciously kept Cooper for two weeks.  (Thanks Mama and Daddy!!) We will pick him up, love on my parents for about twelve hours, then head back "home" to Durham, NC.  Daniel has one more heartbreaking week of internship down there.  On August 2nd, we will say, "goodbye for now" to our beautiful church family there. It will be one of the hardest goodbyes thus far.  

From there, we will have about a week to pack up all of Daniel's things (and my remaining things) and move them down to our storage unit in South Carolina.  We are excited and sad to say "goodbye" and "see you later" to a lot of our great friends at the seminary that weekend. We are at least very thankful for the opportunity to see some people and get some hugs before we depart for the year. 

Then we work our way back up north to Lincolnton, NC, where we will spend a day with our sisters and visit with Grandma before making the trek up to the mountains of Banner Elk, NC. 

After almost a week of wedding week preparation and vacation in our big family rental house in Banner Elk, 150 of our closest friends will join us for the celebration of Holy Communion and our wedding.  Obviously, that is the event that many people are most excited for.  But I can honestly say that I am just glad that I will finally be married to my best friend.  

After the wedding, we will drive back up to Columbus, spend a week with my parents (honeymooning a bit), then start our very long journey (24 hours of plane-riding) to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia! 

We want to make sure people who care know where we are and where we are going so that they can keep in touch and continue to hold us in prayer. So thank you, for everything you have done in our lives and all of the support you continue to give us.

A Different Way

This is the sermon I wrote the day after the Freddie Gray's funeral in Baltimore. I wrote it with tears in my eyes, with an aching heart. I wrote it because it is what I needed to hear. I preached it yesterday morning. I was terrified to be preaching about something so controversial and I was so blessed by the reception I received...

A few weeks ago when I began writing this sermon, I turned to my friend in the midst of sermon prep and said, “I just don’t have anything new to say about ‘love one another.’”  Now, it seems, I have too much to say, but no way of saying it.  It is with sighs too deep for words that I come before you this morning.  

What are we supposed to do in this world?  I feel helpless.  I feel angry and sad.  As I struggle to get my words on paper, I feel my whole soul sighing in desperation for this world.  “Come, Lord Jesus,” I pray, not really expecting an answer.  

What are we supposed to do in this world?  I am overwhelmed.  I am overwhelmed by the unjustified police violence throughout our country.  I am overwhelmed by the riots in Baltimore.  I am overwhelmed by the hatred I see in Facebook posts and comments from people who I have known to be loving and caring.  I am overwhelmed by the cries of the thousands who are denied their basic rights because of their sexual orientation.  I am overwhelmed by the despair and death in Nepal.  

What are we supposed to do in this world?  We are constantly told that violence is the answer - even when we have ignored the question.  This world tells us that the only way to be heard is to yell louder than our opponent.  We are told that the only way to make it to the top is to lie, cheat, and steal our way there.  This world continues to say that “justice” only applies if you are a part of the majority.  This world is telling us that only some lives matter. 

We cannot believe this world.  In fact, as Christians we DO not believe this world.  We have been baptized into the Body of Christ and we KNOW the truth.  It is not violence that triumphs.  It is not anger and vengeance that prevails.  Hate is not the answer.  

The lies of this world are just that - lies.  We cannot believe them.  No matter how true they feel in this week, in this time, in this place, we must cling to the real truth.  

And the real truth is this: Strength is in weakness.  Triumph is in death on a cross.  The gospel declares that Jesus’ death is the first pivotal moment - the moment where God’s reign breaks into this world.  And God’s reign does not look like this world at all.  The kingdom of God declares that love is the answer, that the way to be heard is to lay yourself down for another.  The kingdom of God calls us to be compassionate, careful, and righteous with our words and our actions.  

Jesus’ life shows us that even when it looks like hatred and violence wins, God is stronger, God prevails, God conquers death and the devil in order to restore the world.  We must not let this world overwhelm us, we must be overcome with Christ’s love.  

When we are overcome with Christ’s love, we see the world in a different way.  When we have the faith to abide in Jesus and he in us, our perspective becomes more holy, more heartbroken.  

I used to pray a very simple prayer when I was in college, “Lord, break my heart for the things that break your heart.”  What I realized was, that is way too hard.  There are too many things that break my heart now.  I am bogged down with the tragedies of this world.  But it gave me new eyes.  And when we become overwhelmed with Christ’s love for the world, we will have new eyes in Christ.  Now I pray that whole world’s heart would break for the things that break God’s heart. 

Because when that happens, when we begin using “God lenses,” we will see a new world.  We will see new answers.  When we see tragedies in this world, such as the earthquake in Nepal, the avalanche on Mt Everest, and the police violence throughout our cities, we will feel them deep within us as personal tragedies.  For they are not just the people of Nepal.  They are not just homosexual and transgender people in cities, they are not just African American people in Baltimore or North Charleston.  Jesus tells us that these people are our brothers and sisters.  And we are called to love them.  In fact, more than that - something that seems quite scandalous - we are called to love them so much that we would lay our lives down for them.  We skip over that line and dismiss it as a metaphor because it seems too hard, the stakes are too high if we say we must die.  

But the stakes are too high.  Our brothers and sisters are dying. They are being beaten to death, abused, denied basic human rights.  Whether the violence of the killing of an unarmed black man, or the violence of rioting in response to it - we are told that this is normal.  Our world tells us that this is okay.  Sin declares that this is how we bring about change.  But I promise you, my sisters and brothers, what the world says is normal is not normal at all.  Violence and hatred are not from God.  They are satanic, they are parasitic to the world that God created for wholeness, peace, shalom.  

We are called to throw away our tribal allegiances - whatever they might be. Jesus tells us in this very passage that there is a different way.  There is a the way of unity, righteousness, and peace.  God’s way is the way of love.  

The redemption of this world will not come from violence.  It will not come from hatred and abuse.  The reign of God does not come in anger and vengeance.  The kingdom of God breaks into this world when despite everything - despite the world telling us that violence is the only answer, that death will continue forever, that hatred is stronger - the kingdom of God breaks into this world when we decide to love. In this world that will continue to tell us we must kill one another, God says that we must die for another.  We are all brothers and sisters in Christ.  There is no “us” and “them.”  

And in this time of overwhelming violence, hatred, pointing fingers, and laying blame - we must remember that God says there is a different way and that it starts with us.  

It starts with this community.  It starts on a small scale - a relationship scale.  This new way of living, the kingdom of God in this world starts when people like you and me decide to love.  Instead of hating, instead of holding a grudge, instead of disregarding people because they look different, love different, or act different from us, we can decide to love.  

God works in small ways.  God is working the hearts of the thousands of volunteers who have gone to Nepal to help in recovery.  God was working through the hands of the people who came out the next morning in Baltimore to clean up the streets.  God is working in the Lutheran church as we continue to work to make our sanctuaries safe places for people of different sexual orientations, races, and backgrounds.  God is working. There is no denying that.  So let us offer up our own hands and feet, our own hearts and souls, in order to live into the love that God has so graciously and freely given us.  The Kingdom of God starts here. In this community.  Loving one another starts with us. 

Mom (Wife?)

Throughout my entire life I have always wanted to be one thing: a mom.

Weirdly enough, I had never really thought about being a wife.  I guess it would make sense that those two things go together but they never have in my mind. Now, my friends will tell you that I have thought about marriage.  This isn't exactly accurate. I've thought a lot about a wedding. A big party. A white dress. Lots of friends.  But I've never really thought about a marriage.

I don't think I've ever wanted to be alone though. Maybe it's the fact that I have never wanted to define myself by being someone's wife. I don't know what it is, but I have always kind of imagined myself hanging out with my best friend and raising kids.  Who knows, maybe that's what marriage is supposed to be.

Despite being in a relationship pretty consistently since about eighth grade, I have never imagined married life for myself.  (This might have something to do with a broken engagement, but we never really unpacked that during CPE.)

I have, however, imagined my life being a mom.  Since coming home from Honduras in January, I have started researching adoption laws and reading fiction and nonfiction books about adoption.  It has become a problem. (Haha)  But the funny thing about it is that I'm serious.  My friends roll their eyes and laugh at me when I talk about adoption, but I can't wait.  Many countries I've researched require adoptive parents to be married, 25 years old, and have a steady income.  Honduras is just about that "easy."  Three more years and a steady income.

Despite imagining myself as a mom and not a wife, I have never thought I would be alone.  Actually, I'm afraid I might be alone.  You see, I don't have normal plans for my life.

You've already heard about the adoption thing.  To take it a bit further from normal, I don't really want to give birth to any children.  Seriously. Cue my fear of hospitals and the fact that I think I'd be THE worst pregnant woman on earth.  One step further from normal: I think I'd like four or five kids (or more).

I also want to travel and live paycheck to paycheck, loving as many people as I possibly can. Possibly in a mud hut. Possibly without running water and electricity.

Not many people want to live close to poverty and devote their lives to people in another country. Even if it sounds like a good idea for a few months, it would be hard for most people to put their dreams of a normal family, house, and stability on hold for five or ten years. It's hard for me to think about it and it's something I've thought about for many years.  It's hard for me to ask someone to disregard what they think of as a "normal" relationship, and plunge into the unpredictability of adventure and love.

I'm already running and I need someone to run beside me and be my partner.  I don't know if that means marriage or a husband.  And that's pretty terrifying. Especially considering I'm in a relationship with a man for whom I'd give all of that up.

But maybe that's okay.  Maybe that's the point.  Maybe we are supposed to be so in love that we would give our dreams up for one another but we are also so in love that we would never ever ask one another to.

Such is life. Paradox.

Five Answers for This Guy

There was an article posted on The Gospel Coalition yesterday. And it made me erupt on the floor of my apartment. My first issue with the article is the length of the title. Seriously, people. If you're going to sort of pretend to be a blogger or journalist, learn how to cut down your title. Go read this thing then if you're not throwing up, come on back here and let me answer those questions for him.

Let me put a few things on the floor:

I'm one of those Christians. (Actually most of the time I don't even like it when people call me a Christian because I'm afraid they might put me in the same box as that guy who wrote that article. And Lord have mercy if people think I'm like that.) I'm one of those Christians that supports equality. Period. Marriage equality, gender equality, pay equality, ethnic equality. I just think equality is groovy. And at the heart of Christianity.

If you're using the Old Testament to defend yourself in your bigotry against homosexuality, I'll argue this: "the Bible is the cradle wherein Christ is held" (Martin Luther). Anything in the Bible that goes against the teaching of Christ (who is the Word), is simply invalid or misinterpreted.  Yeah I actually believe that. 

If you're using Paul to defend yourself in your bigotry against homosexuality, I'll share this: Paul was kind of a jerk. Also, he was writing to first century converted Christians- not middle-class American Christians in 2014. So don't take every single thing he said as the cold hard truth. Just chill out a bit. Start quoting Jesus a little more than you quote Paul and then maybe I'll take you seriously. 

But I digress; let me get down to answering these questions.

1. On what basis do you still insist that marriage must be monogamous?

Biblically, I don't really have an issue with people having multiple spouses. In the United States, however, we have laws that won't let us have multiple wives/husbands (darn).  As a Lutheran in the ELCA, my denomination does indeed state it must be a monogamous relationship in order to be recognized by the church.  Culturally (and historically in the US), people enter into marriage with one person and not multiple persons.  

So I guess my answer is, as a Christian speaking not for my denomination but for myself and my own convictions: I don't insist that marriage must be monogamous. Need citations about when polygamous relationships worked out alright in the Bible? Genesis 4, 1 Kings 11, Abram sleeping with Hagar... 

And to the comment about sons and daughters and essentially incest?  He cites medical information later, but ignores it here. Products of incest are more likely to be born with disabilities or medical problems. Plus, it's a law in the US (mostly for this reason). 

2. Will you maintain the same biblical sexual ethic in the church now that you think the church should solemnize gay marriages?

Uh, yeah. When gay marriages fall apart, we will mourn as a congregation for that loss.  I still think sex before marriage is something to be taken seriously.  Do we insist on life-long committed monogamous relationships with heterosexual couples?  Are we just as completely appalled when a pastor has an affair with another woman? Well yeah. Because there's commitment and fidelity there.  And when you break that commitment and trust, you're hurting everyone.  If a gay couple is struggling with fidelity and the family is being hurt by it, then I would handle it the exact same way as if it was a heterosexual couple. 

3. Are you prepared to say moms and dads are interchangeable?

What? We are supportive of single moms, single dads, divorced parents. Actually we are probably more supportive as a church of these groups than "happily married with 3 kids mom and pop."  Why in God's name wouldn't we be supportive of two people who love one another and want to raise a child together? My church and religious community is very much into it taking a village to raise a child. This argument is completely invalid. Sometimes my parents interchange their usual gender roles. Does that mean I'm deprived of something? Hardly. And let's face it, no matter how you raise your kid, there's a really good chance they'll need counseling in their mid-twenties anyway. 

4. What will you say about anal intercourse?

Um, nothing. Are pastors actually preaching about anal intercourse? Because I'd love to hear that sermon spun into the good news of Jesus Christ. I don't preach about other things that cause health problems either (smoking, drinking, obesity, microwaves), so why would I preach about that? Plus the fact that heterosexual couples are just as able to have anal intercourse as homosexual couples and no one has said that in all this time. If someone were to ask my "Christian opinion" on it, I'd tell them that my body is a gift from God (as is my sexuality) and I plan to treat it as such and I hope other people treat their bodies the same way. 

5. How have all Christians at all times and in all places interpreted the Bible so wrongly for so long?

To quote my good seminarian friend, "because we were dead on with that slavery thing too." Is this a serious part of the argument? Because it kind of seems like a joke. People also spent a zillion years interpreting the Bible as literal truth. We know now that that is not a great way to interpret the whole Bible. Well, okay, most of us know that. 

"The church has been of one mind on this issue for nearly two millennia. Are you prepared to jeopardize the catholicity of the church and convince yourself that everyone misunderstood the Bible until the 1960s?"

Uh, yup. That's pretty much exactly what I'm prepared to do.