So I started running...

There was a time in my life when I was semi-decently athletic. I used to love going out and running with my dad. We both liked to run slow and far to really absorb all of the scenery around our countryside Virginia house.

Unfortunately, this time in my life only lasted until about 8th grade. So right when I actually needed the exercise and stress relief, I wasn't getting it. I became a theater nerd pretty quickly and didn't think athletics could compete with that. 

This started a fun joke about how I never work out and if you see me in a gym it is probably because someone is paying me. It was true. I went from loving running (no other activity really sparked my interest), to doing absolutely nothing at all. 

College wasn't any different- I think I went to the really beautifully amazing gym twice (and once to buy a smoothie) and I went to the less beautiful north campus gym probably a half a dozen times. Somehow (thank you, divine intervention) I managed to keep off the "freshman fifteen." But I never started running again.

Around April of this year I was told some pretty traumatic news (at least as far as my relatively unicorns and rainbows life went). And I really didn't know how to handle it. Most of my kairos moments have been pretty wonderful. At least they have turned out to be blessings (like coming to seminary). I didn't know what to do with a completely negative, awful kairos moment. I literally wanted to run away from it. So I did. I started running again. It was the only way I knew how to completely focus my mind on something else. It was, somehow, a form of prayer as much as it was a form of exercise.

And I haven't stopped. As a matter of fact, it is now one of the only things that keeps my head from toppling off and rolling around my dorm room floor here at seminary. It is really difficult for me to get through the week without taking time out of each day to go for a run. It is stress relief in an amazing way and functions as a time to relax (the irony) and spend time with myself. 

But it is also a lesson in discipline with which I thought I was pretty okay. Until I signed up a half marathon and started training for that behemoth. My legs haven't been sore, I haven't hyperventilated from running to fast or too long, I'm not miserable. But still, nothing in my brain is telling me that I want to do a half marathon or that I'm even capable of doing a half marathon. I know that I just have to get through the mentality of it. Everything in my heart thinks this is going to be the best experience in the world. And who am I to deny what God has placed in my heart? 

I'm not going to run a half marathon by myself. I'm not even going to train for a half marathon by myself. I know that I wouldn't have even made it this far if it weren't for God putting the Spirit within me and giving me that will power.

Today marks my fifth week of training and all I can think about is how excited I am about the six mile run that will end my week.  I've never run six miles before. I've never even thought about running six miles before. Who am I?

Looking back to April, I know God was working in that kairos moment and I didn't even realize it. I needed a way to cope with stress that was healthy and didn't involve yelling or eating my weight in chocolate. And God was pretty smart to know that I wasn't just going to go run on my own. I needed something to make me hit that bottom and realize my life needed a change. He's pretty good at that most days.