Sowing Seeds

My dad and I do not always get along. I fault him for not teaching me things like what to do when I get a flat tire or where to put the oil in my car or the fact that I have to renew your registration every year on your birthday (or you'll get a ticket).  (I know next to nothing about cars, if you can't tell.)  And it is always in one of those high-stress situations that I end up calling him in tears screaming, "why didn't you ever teach me this!? Why did you just do everything for me instead of showing me how to do it for myself!?"  

And I usually hang up on him, ask a stranger to help me, and eventually call Dad back to apologize and cry about the dozen other things that had gone wrong that day.  And even though I do sometimes wish my dad would have shown me a little more about cars, he spent a lot of his time showing me things much more important. 

We didn't always have a lot of money growing up - my parents spent the first year or so of marriage in a trailer - but even on a military salary, my dad found a way to give back.  Sometimes that meant coaching a baseball team (even if my brother hated it) or putting a little bit in the offering plate at church.  Before I entered high school, my dad retired from the Army and started a new job that paid quite a bit more than we were ever used to.  And although my dad spent a lot of that hard earned money spoiling my family, he also spent a lot of it giving back to people he cared about. 

I was recently asked what two characteristics I value most in a person.  I answered, "honesty and generosity." My dad is the epitome of those two characteristics.  And he valued those characteristics in others as well.  He tried to be intentional about the people he gave to - he wanted to have a relationship with them.  

He gave to Miss Martha in downtown Petersburg and she called him Santa Claus when he brought children's toys each Christmas.  The homeless and poverty-stricken men around his construction sites for his town homes knew him by name and often worked for him for a few extra dollars. He always found work for the handicapped men who came and asked for it.  He tried to be intentional about who he gave to, but he didn't always know if the money he gave would be used for good.  He had faith in Miss Martha and knew she had a heart for giving, but some of the men admitted that they spent the money earned on alcohol.  It was disappointing, but he kept employing them, talking with them, loving them. He continues to give. Sometimes to people you might not think deserve it (including my brother and me). He never thinks twice about it anymore - he just gives.  

This Sunday we heard Jesus tell the parable of the seed sower (4:26-29).  He scattered seed and left it.  He didn't tend it, he didn't worry himself over it, he didn't toil in the dirt with it.  He just scattered the seed and left it.  He went to sleep and woke up and the seed had spouted.  Eventually, ripe fruit came from the seed that was scattered.  So the man took his sickle and harvested because it was ready. 

See, that's what my dad has always shown me. We are called to sow good seeds.  There's no need to worry ourselves over whether they will produce good fruit - God will take care of all of that.  We just have to go out there and sow.  It's what my dad has done his entire life, expecting nothing in return, he has provided for my family, given to those in need, stepped up when he wasn't even asked to. And he never worried about whether my brother and I would grow up to be the perfect adults or if we would go to seminary or work in a casino or know how to fix a car.  He just gave and let God handle the rest. 

On my fiancé's birthday

I am beyond blessed.

This week I wrote over 50 thank you cards in response to the incredible gifts given to us at our wedding shower.  Over fifty people gathered from St. Paul's Lutheran Church to celebrate the beginning of our marriage.  They came because they adore Daniel as much as I do.

You see, after just nine months in Durham, Daniel has loved his heart out and has received so much love in return.  The people of St. Paul's respect Daniel and adore him more than I could ever imagine in such a short amount of time.  The people didn't come to the wedding shower for me- they came because they genuinely love Daniel so much.  It is one of the reasons I know I have an incredible man to stand next to me for the rest of my life.

Another reason I know this is because I had at least three women hug me at the wedding shower and lean over to tell me what a "special" or "incredible" or "thoughtful" man I have.  I would smile wider and say, "yes, I know. I think he is wonderful too."  But to be honest, I always thought I was a little bit biased.  Daniel loves me so insanely well that it is not hard to love him back and think that he is the bee's knees.  But hearing it from others just proves that what I have believed about him from the start is actually his true character.  I'm not that biased.  Other people think he is pretty amazing too.  And what a blessing that is to hear.

I also hear his sisters talk about him like he hung the moon.  He is thoughtful, kind, considerate, tender.  He loves his niece and nephew with a fierce intensity.  The fact that he chose me to spend his life with shows only that he is more forgiving and patient than anyone I have ever met.

Thousands of women probably say that they feel like the luckiest girl in the entire world.  But if you've met Daniel (and if you've met me), you might realize that it is true when I say I am so very lucky to call him my best friend and partner in life.  I am humbled and honored every day when I look down at the ring on my finger and over at the man sitting next to me.  And I'm lucky not just because of how he loves me, but because of how he loves everyone he encounters.

I am so thankful for all of the memories we have already shared together, and I am so thrilled for an entire lifetime of more.  Happy birthday, best friend. I love you.

Energizing yet Crazy

It feels as if I haven't stopped moving in weeks!

So much has happened in the past couple of weeks and so much is going to happen in the next few months.  It amazes me that I have been able to keep my head on straight.  Everything is spinning at a rapid pace and it has been energizing yet crazy.  I'm exhausted, but I get a couple of weeks to relax and reboot before it gets insane again this summer.  So here is what has been happening and what is happening soon:

Last month: I have been in the process of filling out mountains of paperwork for my internship year.  Turns out that moving to a foreign country for a year is kind of complicated!  It has been hard to even think about moving to Malaysia since I have been so consumed in school work, but now that school is over, it is really starting to sink in and I am very excited about it!  

Last week: I finished my second year of seminary!  It was definitely my hardest semester yet.  I don't know how I did it, but I actually managed to pull out better grades this semester than last semester.  Actually, I do know how I did it.  I did it with the help, love, and support of my friends, professors, and family.  But I am delighted that it is over and I am excited to move along with the next part of seminary.

Last week: I also moved last week.  I put 90% of what I own in a storage unit and took the rest up to Durham.  I spend a lot of last week packing but I also spent a lot of last week saying "see you later" to everyone at seminary.  It was crazy and wonderful and bitter sweet to move away from my seminary family, but I am excited about being in Durham for a while and being adopted into a new family at St. Paul's Lutheran Church.

This week: I am relaxing!  I have been going to the gym almost every day and laying by the pool.  It is wonderful.  I am so happy.  I'm also going up to Virginia to spend some time with my second family and see some of my girls! It is going to be wonderful.

Next week: My mom comes to town! Oh AND Daniel and I are having out first bridal shower! It is going to be the best week.  Hooray!  St. Paul's is throwing us a wedding shower and it is bound to be incredible.  We are so thankful to have such a beautiful church family here.  And I couldn't be more excited to have my mom here for a week.  We are going to get so much done for the wedding and it is going to be wonderful to spend time with her.  I miss her like crazy!

Next month: I get to go to Cuba at the end of June! My theology professor asked my roommates and me to go to Cuba with a Methodist group and it is going to be incredible.  We will be working on a seminary building while we are down there.  It will be my third country in two years (with Malaysia being my fourth).  It will be super exciting to spend another week with Megan before spending a year apart.  It should be a wonderful week!

So if you haven't noticed, I'm describing most things happening in my life as "wonderful," because I could honestly not be happier.  There is a lot more happening after June, but I will leave that for another post.  I can't wait to keep in touch with everyone over the next couple of months through this blog (I'm hoping to keep up with it more regularly).  So keep an eye out if you're interested!