Reclaiming our Stories: Tamar

By The Rev. Victoria L. Hamilton

Read more of Tamar's story in Genesis 38  

Tamar is introduced into this text by way of marriage to one of Judah’s son’s, Er. … Er was not an honest man, in the sight of God, and was put to death by God. (vs7). After his death, Judah then instructed his second son, Onan, to “go to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother in law, and raise up any offspring as his (deceased) brother’s. (vs 8). Onan, didn’t quite like that idea, & let his sperm spill on the ground, … And God,  displeased, put him to death also. Tamar was then promised to the youngest son, Shelah, when he became of age, but, and until that time, Tamar was sent back to her fathers home.

Now, good people, I read through this and the preceding and following chapters a couple times. I, myself, was taken aback trying to put myself in that situation. It seems as though, the irony of the culture of the day, sounds a bit like trafficking! Abuse of some kind or another.  Women’s rights were not the topic or concern of the day. How women really felt about their own culture, I do not know and wonder... Legal, but … what say you?  How does this structure sound to you? If you were to meet Tamar today, and she came to confide in you, How might you, in today’s mindset, encourage her? Does this sound like a - Let’s call Hubbard House or another agency that might help and give counsel, funds, clothes, a place to stay …??   Do you know  a “Tamar”? 

Time passed when she, Tamar, learned that her father-in-law, Judah, was coming to town, for business. She positioned herself on the road, ‘to see’ that Shelah was now grown; and there was an exchange between she and Judah!! Conversation and a sexual exchange. No, he did not recognize her.…The younger son had not been given to her, or her to him; Tamar accepted her father-in-law's “request” to sleep with her. (Lawd! or Lord, have mercy!) 

For insurance sake (my words), she asked for items from Judah, a signet (small seal set inside a ring, that shows authenticity or identification of the owner), a cord and his staff.

Sometimes as women, we are not seen, thought to be intelligent, or considered as equal … In what ways do you see women or yourself as Not Being Seen? .. Where or how have you "Positioned yourself" to make a wrong right? Do you know others who may have "positioned themselves" to right a wrong? .. i.e. at work, in your family, at church, family conversations, school. Was it a hard decision to stand up for yourself or another? Tamar saw promises not kept and sought to make them right. Where has that happened in your life or the life of others? What promises have been made to women, (man or child), that have not been kept OR are trying to be rescinded? What, if anything, are our insurances?

More time passes when Judah hears that Tamar is pregnant, and was being called a whore because the town knew she was a widow. Jumping in haste, Judah calls for her to be “burned” (vs24). Tamar is able to save herself by showing the signet, cord and staff to Judah, who then recognized his own (initial) faults and spared her life. He had broken his promise to her, to give her to his 3rd son, Shelah, in marriage.

How quickly we sometimes jump to conclusions about a person or persons in our society at large.  Are women still being “burned,” to be silenced or eliminated? How do you see or feel that happening? In today’s climate, where might you see that happening? Do you see resolutions? Who needs to be at the table? Can morals that are taught, that sometimes seek to destroy, be amended? Can conversation REALLY happen? Action? How could our lives be more understanding today? Is forgiveness a factor?

Tamar stayed in the town of her father and gave birth to twins, boys, Perez and Zerah. One twin, Zerah, was making his entrance into the world, was marked by a crimson, red thread, by the midwife, on his hand, and drew it back; the second twin, Perez was then born first.

Tamar was the "host" to bring these young people into the world. There will be huge differences between these brothers in the future. How do we set up our children, to be who they will become as adults?  What, in you, has sustained you, that you hope to share with your children, grandchildren and others?  I was "host" to two children, and  have been a surrogate "host" (Mama/Ma as I’m called), spiritually, physically, and mentally for many many many, young people. 

As Tamar was blessed, I was blessed, and have been able to see the growth of many young people, not just my birth children. All of them are different, but GOD provides much more than I’m capable of on my own. As we travel through this life, let’s remember that we are not traveling alone. That sometimes we need to reach out to others, while other times we may need to stand alone fighting for the injustices/justices within us and around us. My thoughts and prayers are with each of us as we reach deep inside ourselves and find strength, courage, patience, and encouragement to do that which is right by others, but especially because that is a call from God.