Serious enough to doubt - St. Mark's Lutheran Church

John 20:19-31

¹⁹When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” ²⁰After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. ²¹Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”²²When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. ²³If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” ²⁴But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came.²⁵So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

²⁶A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” ²⁷Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” ²⁸Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” ²⁹Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”³⁰Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. ³¹But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

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This sermon was originally preached by me, Rev. Sarah Locke, at St. Mark's Lutheran Church on April 28, 2019. To listen to this sermon (with infusions from the Spirit), you can do that by clicking below.

Grace and peace to you, from our risen Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who shows us his wounds and sends us the Holy Spirit. Amen. 

I believe that the disciple Thomas gets a bad wrap — We know him most commonly as “doubting Thomas.” Despite the fact that up until this point in his journey, he has had as much or more certainty in his faith than any of the other disciples. 

Can’t blame Thomas for wanting proof in this situation— he has just experienced significant trauma, lost his good friend and teacher, someone he loved dearly. It is not surprising that he doesn’t believe the other disciples when they tell him that Jesus is alive. 

In any case, I don’t like to mock Thomas for doubting because the opposite of faith is not doubt. I think that’s a common misconception. That there is something wrong with our faith or that we are not faithful enough if we have doubts. 

But I hope I can convince you this morning that if we do not doubt, then we are not taking things seriously enough. 

I mean, think about what we profess on Sunday mornings. 

At the beginning of worship, we professed that death is washed away forever in the waters of baptism. 

We are baptized into Christ’s death and resurrection. 

In a few minutes, we will profess our faith using the Nicene Creed, which says absolutely ridiculous things like God became a human being, suffered death and rose from the dead. 

And we come to this table every week and we believe that we are eating the body and blood of Jesus Christ. 

At least that is what we profess. Whether we believe it every week or not is another story. 

These past two years, I served as the chaplain at Luther Springs for God’s Spa weekend. Last year, I had a woman approach me at lunch on Saturday and begin asking me questions about Holy Communion. What I believe. What we are supposed to believe as Christians. Curious, I asked what she believes. “I don’t know.” She said, “maybe all of it. Maybe none of it. Maybe somewhere in between depending on the day. Do you think that’s okay?” She asked.

Yes of course. I think that is natural. I think that is normal and human. 

This is a big misunderstanding I have encountered during my almost ten years in campus ministry. 

Many people have the idea that young people begin to lose their faith around the end of high school and beginning of college. 

For whatever reason they just stop believing.

But this isn’t true at all. They are simply doubting, which is one of the most important steps in the process of forming our faith. 

Process of faith formation (John Westerhoff)

Experienced faith - like praying the Lord’s Prayer without knowing what the words mean, “believing” something because that’s what we have learned. 

Affiliative faith - about being a part of a group— we believe and do things because the people around us are believing and doing them. 

The next step toward true faith is usually sparked by trauma or significant change. That is why it always seems as if young people transitioning from high school and being at home “lose themselves” and their faith lives. No, that’s not the case at all. We are just sorting things out. Growing, changing, and learning, doubting. 

Other times this doubting is caused by the death of a loved one or significant illness. Whatever it is that causes the doubt, it is normal and natural and a vital part of our faith journey.

Searching faith - asking questions like “is this really what I believe?” This is where Thomas is at in the story we hear this morning. Jesus was crucified in front of his friends. Thomas witnessed the death of his Lord and teacher, someone he loved dearly. He entered into the wilderness of searching and doubting— surely not only about what his friend had taught them but also about the meaning of his own life and faith. 

So when the other disciples tell him that they have seen Jesus alive again, he won’t blindly believe what others have told him. He has to find out and believe for himself. That is also where many of us are in our faith journey. 

God does wonders in our doubt. 

The most profound words ever spoken to me were in the midst of my doubt after college. I was frightened, lonely, and didn’t know what God had planned. I worshipped with my community one evening and I sobbed through almost the entire service. I felt so hopeless and as I was invited up for communion, I turned to my friend and said, “I don’t know if I believe all of this.” She took my hand and said, “That’s alright. I can believe on your behalf tonight. Come to the table anyway. You might find God.”

God sent me to seminary in the midst of my doubt and there are still days when doubt overtakes me as I come to the table or pray for the world. 

But that is why God has given us this community— so that we might doubt and question together, so that we might come together and share what we have witnessed— that Christ Jesus is risen from the grave. And when there are those among us who cannot believe, who are too swept up in grief or questions or doubt to profess their faith, we can believe on their behalf until they have witnessed the resurrected Lord themselves. 

And the truly beautiful, incredible thing, is that Jesus comes to us, in our doubt and unbelief, and he doesn’t rebuke us. He doesn’t call us cowards. 

Jesus says, “Peace be with you. Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side.” Touch me. Be present with me. Witness the live-changing truth that Christ Jesus is risen from the grave. 

That is truly what matters, after all. Not only that we have witnessed the resurrected Christ, but how it changes us. 

What happens when we are navigating this journey of doubt is really what matters. If we stay the same— hiding away in an upper room, afraid to be a part of this new reality that has been summoned by God, then we have not really learned anything. We have turned a blind eye to the truth.

But if we are changed… that is what it truly means to believe in the witness of the resurrection, but be resurrection people. 

And the truly good news is that our timeline and God’s timeline are not always in synch. If you haven’t gone through a time of deep doubt in your life— asking the big questions and wondering in community— or if you’re going through it right now, there is still time. You haven’t missed out. 

We have the opportunity to be changed every time we come to the table to feast on the body and blood of Christ and dip our fingers into the waters of baptism. At this table, and this font, we have the opportunity to witness that Christ comes to us and says, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side.” 

Believe and be changed in the resurrection. Amen.