By Mandy Achterberg
Read more of Sarah's story: Genesis 12; 16; 17:5, 15; 18:10-15; 20; 21:1-21; 23:1-21
Sarai is introduced through her lineage and connection as a descendant of Shem through her marriage to Abram. The first thing we learn about her is that she is Abram’s wife and the second is that she is barren. Nothing is noted about where she came from or who she is, but unlike many other women in the Old Testament, she has a name. Through nearly ten chapters the story of Sarai, who becomes Sarah, unravels before us.
At first, I was reluctant to take on the story of Sarah. When other theologians speak of her, one of two things happen. The first is that she is lifted up and revered as being a mother of the faith, one who heard God speak, and demonstrated faith as a partner to Abraham. The second is that she is fraught with scandal, who laughed at and lied to God, and that she became complicit in the abuse of another woman. Rarely are both discussed together. As I reflect on Sarah I want to hold all of her, even the parts we don’t want to look at, even when they are in tension with who we want Sarah to be for us.
The first thing I noticed is that Sarah herself is not unfamiliar with the harm and violence that patriarchy causes women. She would have been owned by her father, who likely received payment for her hand in marriage. She is barren and seen as useless. This is perhaps why Abram seems to have no qualms “giving” her in marriage to Pharaoh to protect his own life. Of course, when Pharaoh learns of this trickery, he sends them both away. The slimy thing here is that Abram gets to keep his spoils of offering his wife to another man.
After this we get the story of God making a covenant with Abram, and even though he is childless – which Abram makes quite a gripe about – God promises Abram that he will have as many descendants as there are stars in the sky. As he continues to be childless, I imagine that Sarai heard these complaints of his nearest heir being Elizer of Damascus. I imagine she felt the pressure to fulfill a role as a wife. I imagine she felt the pressure to help make God’s promise come to be. There is no way she can see herself as bearing a child, so she does what she thinks she needs to do to save the dreams of her husband and offers her Egyptian slave, Hagar. Ultimately doing so much harm, and usurping God’s plan in the process!
But all of this does not change God’s plan for Sarah to be included in the birthing of a great people. Sure, it complicates things, and the situation is complex! She is old and barren and has already worked it out so that Abraham will have an heir in Ishmael. Yet, God’s promises remained true and Sarah gave birth to Isaac. Sarah remains a faithful participant in God’s story with humanity.
I am reminded of many things in my reflection. First is that hurt people, hurt people. When we are hurt and hurting, we tend to be reactive and are unable to see how our actions may harm others. The second is, we are immensely capable of being both sinner and saint. Sarah’s complicity in the harm of Hagar does not negate her from the promise of God, but it also dramatically changed their relationship. I wonder if Sarah’s harsh treatment of Hagar tells us more about Sarah’s reaction to her own brokenness, putting the hoped for thing before the faithful thing.
But I am left with a renewed compassion for Sarah, and a reminder to acknowledge the ways we have been harmed by other humans and to remember that God is a God who does not ask us to sacrifice relationships or life to fulfill the things that God promises.
How have hurt and trauma impacted your life negatively? How has hurt and trauma revealed an inner resilience, or led you to make an impact in the world? Where do you find God’s promises revealed? What reminds you of God’s promises?
